There is no shortage of articles, blog posts, statistics, and anecdotes about Quiet Quitting – and now its ugly stepsister, Quiet Firing. One of the better pieces I read recently boiled everything up to a collective trend toward reluctance to have tough conversations – and I totally agree.
So what ARE those conversations and how do we have them?
Questions EMPLOYERS can ask to engage and get clarity:
If an employee is NOT meeting their job expectations, ask yourself: are the expectations clear and measurable (in an inarguable way)? (If the answer is no…there is some clarifying work to be done.)
If the job expectations are clear and measurable, and the employee is meeting them, and you’re still feeling bothered…ask yourself: what is REALLY bothering me?
If an employee seems disengaged, have I checked in with them beyond asking about their work particulars? Do I have an understanding of what ELSE might be impacting them?
Questions EMPLOYEES can ask to engage and get clarity:
Do I know very clearly what the expectations of my job are, and am I meeting those?
If I’m NOT clear on the job expectations, or some aspect of them, who do I need to ask to get clarity?
If I’m clear on expectations and I find myself not meeting them or not WANTING to meet them…what role do I actually want? Does that role exist in this organization?
Also. A very important part of these conversations is to have them from a place of observation, not assumption. Even if well-intentioned, starting a conversation with “You seem disengaged…” is likely to lead to defensiveness and a run-around conversation that’s not actually about whatever it’s about (see recent blog post It’s not about the nail).
Instead, trying starting a conversation with observation, like “I notice that during our last three meetings… (your eyes are not on the person speaking / you’re on your phone / you ask multiple times to have things repeated), help me understand what’s happening for you”. Those observations might make YOU think they’re disengaged, but perhaps they’re sad, or bored, or tired, or a myriad of other things. Mislabeling invites defensiveness and destroys trust.
These will not solve everything, they are simply a way to START. If you get started with these conversations and find yourself lost as to what to do next…ask for help. I’m here when you’re ready.
On the other hand…….if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em!