My dad likes to get a Sunday paper. It reminds me of being a kid, when he would spread the paper out on the table and I would grab for the comics. These days, the paper is much shorter (as are the comics) but it still conjures up the same nostalgia.
One of the articles I read recently was about the flare-up of feelings – and outward reactions – toward one another after recent announcements that adults who are fully vaccinated do not need to wear masks.
And oh how I can feel the recriminations, judgment, anger, and contempt that is swirling in the air now.
Conscious Leadership Group, which I’ve mentioned in prior blogs, points to fear being rooted in one (or more) of three places: fear of losing control, fear of losing security, and fear of losing approval. And covid has brought out all these fears in spades.
So before we go tumbling down that rabbit hole headfirst at 100 miles per hour, let’s pause and consider what might be happening when two people, one wearing a mask and one not, come upon each other.
The feelings of anger / frustration / grief by those wearing masks may be coming from several different places:
They may be resentful that others feel comfortable when they still feel worried and scared.
Or, maybe like someone who is mourning a loved one’s death and feels despair at how the world can carry on like normal, they might be feeling overwhelmed with grief (perhaps they’ve even lost a love one to covid) and anger that others can experience a feeling of being carefree.
Or, they might still be worried that they are especially susceptible and can’t risk removing barriers.
Or, it could be one of a million other things going on in their life that is creating their internal experience right in that moment - maybe none of which have anything to do with covid.
All this to say – we have no idea what another person is experiencing or the toll it’s taken.
Which means, when we witness someone else’s big feelings, we have a choice. We can choose to receive it as a criticism or condemnation of ourselves and our choice / logic / intelligence, or we can choose to see that this other person is having an experience that is their own, based on what their experience has been. The former is more likely to push us to a defensive and angry place, the latter to an empathetic and gentle place.
How will you choose to be in the face of others’ experiences and expressions today?
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