New friends in old age
I already know I’m going to take flak for referring to my age as “old age” but in the age of making friends, this just might be pretty accurate!
When you’re young, making friends is so easy. Someone who wants to go on the swings or play foursquare with you is instantly a friend. When you get a little older – high school or college – you become a little more discerning, but it’s counter-balanced by being surrounded by people who are in the exact same time of their life as you are, so the odds of having common experiences and feelings are high. When you start working, the odds begin to thin out, as you mix with people from different places, at different life stages, and possibly different values, but you still have an abundance of options all around you.
The hardest era, I’ve found, is when you’re past the work phase, or (like me) working for yourself, where you do not have a built-in pool of friends-in-waiting. Enter: the “old age” era of making friends.
When you’re young, everyone has potential! Then, you make friends and spend time with people and realize not every friendship is the bee’s knees. People you were friends with when you were young start to have wildly divergent lives from you and the people you’re friends with now have almost no resemblance to early friends, or even early versions of ourselves.
Here’s what I’ve learned about making new friends at an older age:
Like anything else, you get the best results when you put in the effort. Sitting on your couch watching Seinfeld reruns and munching Cheetos is an excellent way to spend any night, but new friends will not be showing up at your doorstep. Believe me. I’ve tried it.
Wait for the good ones. There are millions of people out there, but you won’t like many of them. And many of them won’t like you. That’s perfect. You don’t have time for millions of friends. Wait for the ones who make you want to put away the Cheetos and go hang out with them. Or better yet, who make you want to share your Cheetos. Those are the real unicorns.
Tell ‘em you love ‘em. Appreciate your friends, love them, and TELL THEM you love them. Appreciation is best appreciated when shared. Our connection grows when we tell others how we feel.
Here’s to new friends and enough Cheetos to go around!
Happy trails to you…
