We all know what this is. It’s the 27-ring circus we stumble through from about late November to early January, leaving us feeling like a shell of ourselves (even if a joyful shell), needing a vacation from our holiday celebrations.
I got to thinking about the holiday gauntlet after my weekend, which featured a full Saturday of two holiday events in the same day. This kind of stacking of activities can be the source of stress and stretch (of my limits) – but Saturday was a day of delight that left me feeling energized, which made me reflect on how we can get the most out of our opportunities for holiday gatherings and festivities without sacrificing our own wellness.
Here are three ways to approach this holiday season:
Decide what you want BEFORE invitations arrive. Then act accordingly. It can be so easy to fill our days based on whatever we get invited to, or whatever is suggested to us, and suddenly we are booked out through the new year. Instead, sit down with yourself (or go on a long walk) and decide how you want your holidays to go. Do you want to meet new people? Do you want to spend time one-on-one with your favorites? Do you want to take neighborhood tours to enjoy the lights and decorations? If you have in mind what you want BEFORE you start receiving (or RSVPing) to invitations, you are much more likely to end up doing what you actually WANT to do, and not just whatever comes along. And doing what we WANT to do is so much more likely to leave us feeling energized instead of depleted.
You can’t manage others, so spend your energy managing yourself. Holidays can be so emotionally charged, between high expectations, tensions with loved ones, extra spending, demands on time, and on and on. And with all this comes our desire to make things go a certain way – which usually also means wanting other people to have a certain experience or behave in a particular manner. But those things are entirely outside our control. So instead of spending your energy to control the uncontrollable, use it to shape your own experience (and allow others to be responsible for themselves).
When in doubt, choose yourself. In the face of invitations, obligations, and traditions, you are likely to face at least one time when you only kinda-sorta want to do what’s in front of you and I beg of you – just say no. It can feel almost impossible to say no (especially if you don’t have an actual conflict), but these events – the ones we feel iffy about – are the ones that drain us the most and leave us depleted for those events we actually want to be part of. Let your feelings of ambiguity be a big, blazing, neon sign that your response will be “No, thank you!”
How will YOU create the holiday experience you want this year?
