In the two years I worked as a Money Coach for Capital One, I had hundreds of sessions with clients. And of those, I would guess that 80% of them had a goal that was some form of: “I want to be financially stable / secure / independent.”
I would then ask: “What does that mean to you?”
And this is where it got interesting. While this was an almost universal desire among the people I spoke with, almost no one had thought any further than wanting the feeling they thought would come with financial stability. They had no idea what this meant or how they would know they had achieved it.
This was a turning point – even right there, at the very start of their first session. Since, in theory, we all understand the idea of financial stability, rarely does anyone push any further because we all assume a shared understanding of those words. But this means we don’t usually challenge ourselves to define exactly what that is for US INDIVIDUALLY.
And so we go along on our (not-so) merry way, wanting this thing that is perpetually unattainable because it has no distinct definition for us. Meanwhile, we experience constant, or sometimes increasing, unease at never being able to reach that thing that feels so important.
Any of this ringing a bell? If it is, and you are someone who wants financial stability / security / independence but realize you haven’t defined it, try thinking through these questions:
What specific realities would make me feel that stability / security / independence? A certain amount in the bank? The repayment of a debt? An articulated plan of what I would do if I lost my job or got a divorce?
When I think about being financially stable / secure / independent, how do I think I’ll feel when that happens?
When I feel that way, what will I be able to do differently than I am doing now?
Start with these questions and see where they take you. And in the spirit of turning the money taboo on its head, I hope you’ll bring this discussion to someone in your life!
What does your image of financial stability look like?
*If you’re ready to put the power of your money back into your own hands, check out my 12-week program: Your Money ǀ Your Power.
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