Rebel with a cause
I like to think of myself as a rebel. Probably because I was such a rule follower for so long. I spent much of my early life doing what was expected and being a “good girl” (with only the occasional rebellious streak, including one morning before kindergarten running out of the house and up the street because I wanted to wear shorts and not pants – rebellious or just pain in the ass?? Hard to say).
But somewhere along the line, some of those “rules” (especially the implicit ones and the outright made-up ones) really started to chafe. Some of the “rules” just didn’t make sense to me. They didn’t fit for me. And yet there I was, still following dutifully along.
Until I didn’t.
Some of the rebellions were big. Leaving a secure corporate role to start my own business. Travelling solo internationally. Choosing not to have children.
In some ways, those big rebellions were easier than the small, day-to-day rebellions. The ones with REALLY loud voices telling you to get back in line.
I spent the past weekend with a friend where I really wanted to be present in our time together. I left Friday morning after a work call, taking the day off, with a planned return on Sunday. Usually, a no-brainer, I would simply pack up my computer and head out, having it on hand “just in case” (even though I have an Out Of Office message up and no clients expecting me).
And instead, I looked at my schedule, I thought about my intention for the weekend, and I left my laptop on my desk.
Oh sweet rebellion!
Against all those little voices (“What if someone needs you? What if someone emails you? What if you have the next great idea and nowhere to capture it??”), I left it behind and drove away for the weekend.
And regretted it for nary a moment.
A monumental rebellion? No, of course not. At least not for most. But to me, it was a hand up to the programming that says I should always be available, that it’s not OK to take time to myself, that I should be spending my time more productively. After this instance, I’m starting to notice the thoughts that swell and stop for a minute to consider – what ELSE could I do here besides simply follow those voices?
What are your small rebellions?
