Banishing selfish
Somebody, somewhere, save me from the scourge of “selfish”!
I am so sick of this word. It has become so bastardized as to convey an idea entirely different from its true meaning.
Let’s check out the dictionary.com definition:
devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others
What you’d expect, right?
Now how about we add the emphasis that creates the crucial distinction:
devoted to or caring ONLY for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., REGARDLESS of others
The way I most commonly hear “selfish” misused is when it’s in reference to ANYTHING that helps or supports oneself. I especially see this with women, and especially any time they reference doing something that would be good for them (but not ALSO simultaneously good for everyone else).
“I’m going to be selfish and skip after-work drinks so I can go to the gym instead.”
“I know it’s selfish but I’m just going to rest today.”
“I want to be selfish and get my own entrée.”
For anyone who uses these phrases (or ones like them) – ladies, I’m especially looking at all of us – STOP. Stop NOW.
It is not selfish to care for oneself. It is not selfish to put one’s own needs first. Because there are countless others with unending needs who will always be there.
Does putting your own needs first actually HARM someone else? Then give it a moment’s thought.
But stop classifying self-care and self-preservation as selfish. It’s just not.
How we talk about ourselves can easily turn into how we see ourselves. And if we see ourselves as selfish, we won’t believe we deserve any care at all.
