Distractions
We are inundated with emails and most are fairly unremarkable. But every once in a while, there’s a gem.
Last week, I got this from the mailing distribution list for Wisdom 2.0, written by the founder, Soren. It so perfectly articulates what I often feel; I didn’t think I could write it any better. So, this week, I will share with you this excellent piece about the impact of our phones, with a short follow-up at the end:
Recently my partner asked me while we were out on a date, “Did you check your email when you went to the bathroom?”
I usually do not check my email when we are together, but she was right, I had.
I had justified it to myself as, “Well, I am not really in her presence while in the bathroom, and it does not take me more time away from her, and maybe something really important just came via email …”
It turns out it matters a lot … she could feel the difference.
Of course, it is easy to notice when we are with someone in person, and they check their email or social media right in front of us.
The feeling of connection often instantly changes. “The field” we share is impacted.
Of course, there are times we need to check our phones when we are with others. There are calls we need to take or text messages we need to reply to right away. That is true.
But what is also true is we tend to do this WAY more than we need!
And the question is, “Is there something that truly needs our attention and requires us to look at our phone … or are we just running on habit?”
It may often be the latter. We are just seeking a dopamine hit.
I think it is important to realize: It is not about the time it takes!
We cannot say, “It only takes me 10 seconds to check, now I am back.”
All of a sudden we are processing new information that was not in our brain a few minutes ago, and that can be felt. It has an impact more than those 10 seconds.
Notice today … when you choose to look at your phone when you are with others and the impact that has. How often is it habit and how often is it actually needed?
If presence matters to us, how are we showing up for ourselves and others?
One additional thought. The writer questions whether checking our phone is habit vs. something that actually needed. I would take it a step further to wonder whether, habit or not, is it truly needed or is it a force of fear, obligation, or guilt (FOG) that we are tethered to that digital albatross? Fear of missing out? Obligation to respond ASAP? Guilt over being where we are instead of somewhere else?
So the next time you reach for your phone, ask yourself…is this really necessary or is it coming from my FOG?
If Norman Rockwell could see us now…….
