Years ago, there was a movie where the main character said something along the lines of “Principles are only worth anything if you stick by them when it’s inconvenient.” The character was faced with a choice where one option (betraying their principle) would have been a shortcut to the outcome she wanted, and the other option (sticking to their principle) would make her desired outcome unlikely.
Even though I was probably only in my teens at the time, that really stuck with me. Now in my 40s, as I continue to explore this idea of integrity (slightly different from principles, but within the same realm of meaning what you say – and then acting accordingly), I see how tempting it is to stray from our principles – or the things we say matter most to us.
It’s a slippery slope to navigate, sticking to what matters to you. We loosen our grip for so many reasons – not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings, wanting to seem flexible or amenable, wanting to make things easy, wanting to look like the bigger person…the list goes on and on.
But when we let go of our principles, even a little, we start to dig a pit that will come to be filled with resentment or despair or anger or resignation…until we can get back to ourselves again.
So at any moment we can stop and check ourselves:
What have I agreed to that I don’t actually want to do?
What have I encouraged that I’m actually against?
Where have I stayed silent when I actually disagreed?
Because while we may wish we’d never started digging that pit, the next best thing is to STOP digging that pit…
