When I was young, birthdays were all about some super fun activity that you only got to do for special occasions (water slides, roller rinks, etc.), having tons of friends around, and getting to have exactly the kind of cake you wanted.
Over the years, that evolved. Later it was about meeting friends out at a cool venue, having interesting cocktails, even going on trips to celebrate a birthday.
A mid-thirties birthday was a turning point, when I decided I was going to do EXACTLY what I wanted, with no concern over what people thought or what I “should” be doing on my day. That year I had a puppy party. That’s right – I rented puppies, brought to my house by a chaperone, and hung out in a little fenced-in area while some friends and I coo’d over them and cuddled them endlessly.
Since then, I stopped thinking of birthdays as trying to get as many friends in one place as possible and doing something totally extraordinary – but instead, started with what I felt like doing, and then who (if anyone) I wanted to join me. Which means that one year, I took myself (on a workday, which I took off) to an awesome breakfast joint and got TWO breakfasts (one sweet, one savory), way more food than I would ever eat, but enjoyed the crap out of both. Then I went home and napped. I may have met some friends later that night, but I can tell you right now, that breakfast and nap were the highlights of that birthday.
So the real gift of each additional birthday (beyond the obvious gift of being alive!) has been that this attitude bled over into my life. More and more now, I ask myself what I really want to do, who I want to do it with, and worry less about what others think I should do or if they’re mad they didn’t get invited. That’s no longer for me to fret over.
So for anyone reading this, my early/late birthday gift to you is the luxury of releasing all the shoulds and expectations of others and be totally free to do what you want and be who you want.
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